Friday, March 12, 2010

Thing 1 and Thing 2

It's been several months since my last post. Almost 6 months to be exact. It was shortly after "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" were placed in our home. At the time, the boys were 2 and 4. I can say without a doubt that they have come a long way since then.
You see, we decided to continue to foster after our last placement returned home in June last year, but because of the emotional drain of having a teenage foster daughter, we decided to foster younger children thinking since they come with "less baggage", it would be easier. I guess we were wrong. Not easier - just different. The first few months were the toughest. We had even reached a point when we called the agency asking them to find another foster family to transfer them to - it was hard on everyone and we were always tired, fighting and yelling. At the very least, I knew the boys deserved to be somewhere where they could experience real love. We asked the agency to be on the lookout, letting them know we were ready but we would wait until the right family came around. We then decided to really pray about it. We realized that the problem wasn't them, it was US! We had the wrong attitude and expectation about the boys. Of COURSE they were going to be wild, disobedient and obstinate. They were not taught any better their entire lives! Now they were in a home and all of their needs were suddenly met and we expected too much too soon. Once we adjusted our expectations guess what? Our attitudes changed and we allowed ourselves to actually enjoy them. God is so good- I thought I was already a patient person, but I needed more! They still need alot more training to get where they should be (with speech, school, behavior), but that task seems much more realistic now.

One thing we have come to the conclusion is we will probably not continue to foster children this young. I believe it would be in the best interest of them and us to be with a family who can focus all of their time and attention since that age is so demanding. We have had to put many things on hold with our own kids because of the boys and I'm ready to be involved with activities that my kids can participate in.

We don't know for sure yet, but it looks like the boys may be available for adoption later this year, unless their parents can get their act together (but things don't look good for them). We have met a young couple who desire to adopt and they will be babysitting the boys next week during Spring Break. This will be a much needed time of rest for our family and a great opportunity to see if the boys will be a good fit for this young, energetic family.

As all of this unfolds, God is putting yet another burden on our hearts. I can't wait to see how He uses us in those He's recently put into our lives and hearts. More to come later...

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