Can You Do This?

I didn't know too much about being a foster parent until about a year ago - that's when some friends of ours were going through the process and I was so burdened to be a part of this incredible ministry that we decided to begin the process to be approved Respite Foster Parents. Basically, if you are a foster parent and you need someone to watch your foster children for more than 72 hours, they need to go through the training and licensing process just like a foster parent. We wanted to be able to help out our foster parent friends in any way we can, then God orchestrated things where we were able to become foster parents ourselves, so here we are!

I'm wondering how many of you out there are wondering if this is something you should pursue? What better way to find out than to start out by providing respite care for another foster family. In case you didn't know, the state does provide a daily stipend to foster parents to reimburse you for costs associated with caring for a foster child. Any (good) parent knows that it costs $$ to raise a child, so that should remove the financial burden from your decision. Room may be another factor, but as long as the child has a minimum of 40 square feet in their bedroom designated for them, that should not be a problem, either.

I think most people's resistance comes from the inconvenience this will cause them and their families. Sure, you will have to deal with many new responsibilities such as: enrolling a new child in school, maintaining communication with their teachers, helping with report cards, feeding, clothing, transporting to family visits, doctor and dentist visits, etc... and sometimes you are also challenged and have to deal with detentions, them missing the bus, ISS (in school suspensions) and jealous biological children. So, sure, this does put a strain on my "free" time, but it's also fulfilling when you are making a visible difference in the life of a young person. Most importantly, God is using us to make an ETERNAL difference in their lives as well.

The foster care system is filled with too many low-income, unemployed, uneducated, unmarried or non-believing foster parents, so these precious children are usually going from one poverty situation to another. It's time for more working middle-class couples to step up and help change these children's lives, whether it's by fostering, providing respite care or by becoming a child advocate. There are alot of Child Placement Agencies out there to choose from, or you can go directly through CPS. We use Arrow Child & Family Ministries and have been pleased. Please email me if you'd like more information or if you want to visit our neighborhood to see if this is for you.

Teenage Moments

As we approach the end of two full weeks of becoming foster parents, I can honestly say that the "honeymoon" is over. We've had a few trying days where our parenting skills were challenged. Sunday was especially difficult because they seem to have been challenged by all 4 children in our household! As I sought the Lord's guidance in how to respond to our foster daughter's attitude, it was clear to me that it should not be any different than how I would respond to my own children's words or actions.

The night ended better than I could have hoped - we talked, prayed together and she apologized. God is so good!

On a side note, we got another call today for a possible placement of 2 more children (2 of a sibling group of 4). We're only licensed to have 3 foster kids in our home, so it breaks my heart that they'd be separated, but I guess keeping 2 together is better than splitting up all 4.

Family!

Well, yesterday we officially became foster parents! We received into our care a beautiful, vibrant 13 year old girl; who after spending some time with our family asked if it was okay to call me "mommy" and Jeff "daddy" (as long as her real mom didn't hear her because that would hurt her feelings). She is looking forward to being reunited with her family, but we are unsure when that would be, so we promised to love and care for her as if she's our own until that happens. The kids are excited about their new sister.

We were warned by other parents about the "honeymoon period" most foster parents go through with new placements, but I'm sure things will fine. The Lord brought us where we are right now and will protect our family. The sad thing in all of this is that she's been in other foster homes where she said she didn't feel loved. How can you commit to do something like care for children and not show love?

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Time to Step Up!

During our training today our case worker told us of a story of a nine year old girl who was in the foster care system, and while in care, her biological mom died in a fire (she was running a meth lab in her home). The case worker took the girl to the funeral, where there was a chapel FULL of relatives there who were mourning the loss of the girl's mom. Can you imagine having a large "family" like that but still no one is willing to take you in - talk about rejection. First by her mom who neglected her child which caused her removal in the first place, then by family not willing to step up. Some even had the nerve to ask the girl for her contact information so they could "keep in touch". (the girl ended up "aging out" of the system when she turned 18)

The segment we were studying was on Separation, Loss & Grief. One thing I've heard over and over is no matter what a child has been through, they almost NEVER speak about their parents in a negative way and will defend them no matter what. Regardless of the circumstances, removal from their home is a tramatic experience for most kids.

I'm struggling right now with judging people who would do this to a child, but that's another fight. Our fight right now is to help save some of these kids.

Life at Rio Bend

We'll we're almost fully unpacked and settled at our new home at Rio Bend. It's such a huge blessing to have room for everything and for everything to have a place. Hopefully I'll soon have time to actually get it there, but in the meantime, we are enjoying our new community. Most of all, we are enjoying our incredible neighbors. Since we're not licensed yet, we've tried to make ourselves available to provide some respite care to the families out here, even if it's just taking someone to the pool while their babies nap, or allowing them to go out on a date night.

The agency we've decided on is Arrow Child & Family Ministries . Things are moving along quite well, and today found out we can probably be licensed by the 30th of this month, and could get our first placement as early as the 31st. We also found out how desperate the need is for foster families willing to take "older" children. "Older" children were described as ages 10 and up. Usually when they're that old, their parents have already terminated their rights to the state, so these are children that no one is fighting for. Another huge need is for foster families willing to take in sibling groups. This are exactly the kinds of kids we've been praying for and know God is already preparing our hearts for them.

Thank you for your continued prayer for our family during this process. We covet your thoughts and prayers for the children that will be in our care.

Updates and Craziness

We got approval today to move in to Rio Bend but will have to start over the licensing process with another agency. It's a complicated mess but I'll spare the details for now. (If any of you know of a great child placement agency (CPA), please let me know! We may end up going directily through CPS but haven't decided yet.

I also saw my Ortho. this morning and tomorrow he will remove the screw that is visible on the open wound and hopefully we'll see some new growth in that area. If there is not enough change in a few weeks, then he will go in and remove all the hardware. He wants to leave it in there as long as possible to be sure the bones are totally healed. Typically hardware is not removed until years after the initial injury, if at all. He keeps telling me that he's never had a case like this in 22 years of practice, so I guess that makes me special! :)

Well, back to packing...we thought we were close to being done, but we have way more junk than we thought, so stay tuned for more updates!

Fostering/Moving Update

Well, we had our home study this past Friday. Part of it, anyway... Apparently, some questions need to wait until we complete some training next week. If our training goes as planned, we should be licensed by the first week of August.

Although we started the foster care licensing in April, the process has been slow for us. In part was because of my broken ankle in May, but we were back on track in June, about the same time our current landlord gave us our move out notice for the end of July because she didn't want to continue our month to month option. We were confident that our licensing would be complete by then and we'd be ready to move about that time anyway. Well, here we are, about 10 days to be out of our home and no license. Thank God for friends like ours, we have a couple of offers from friends who have plenty of room, so unless we get permission to move in to our new home early (before we are licensed), we will be staying with friends for a couple of weeks.

We had a big moving sale this past weekend and the moving pod will be delivered tomorrow, so whether we're ready or not, we're packing our stuff away! I enjoy the part of moving when you purge the things you no longer need/want and have to evaluate whether something is worth the trouble of packing. We definitely have too much stuff. I mean, we, as all of us.

I'm grateful that my ankle is healing well and I can get around with my walking cast, I was even able to serve in the church's nursery today for the first time since the injury - I was not able to easily get on/off the floor til now. I can't image getting through all this alone, but without my amazing family, friends, co-workers and most of all, an amazing God, HIS timing was perfect and I trust HIM to bring healing to my body and refreshment to my bones (Proverbs 3:5 & 8)

Familia!

Jeff's Mom and Sister were in town for the 4th of July and we all enjoyed lunch at Joe's Crab Shack after church. I love those crabcakes and stuffed shrimp!

On the 4th we all had lunch at our hopefully soon-to-be neighbors, where we'll be foster parents at Rio Bend. There's a few snags we've run into with the placement process, so it looks like we won't be moving until August. More on that another time; keep that in your prayers, please!

A Glimpse

I spent part of the morning and early afternoon yesterday with my good friend, Dede, who's a foster parent. Dede and her husband have one grown son living on his own and one 10 year old son who's currently away at camp, but this was by no means a week of rest for her. She currently has 3 foster kids, ages 2, 4 and 6 and is expecting another later this fall when the mom delivers the baby. When I got to her home, she also had 2 foster kids from across the street over to play, ages 3 and 8. Talk about a hectic house! I spent time with her at home, during play time, lunch, and then swimming at the community pool. I brought my own 9 year old and his friend as well, and everyone had fun!

I know fostering will be challenging and sometimes tiring, but I also know it will be rewarding knowing that I am investing in the lives of children who have no one that puts their best interests first. I'm praying for those God will be putting in our care soon, because they are already out there - I pray that they are protected and kept safe in the hands of their current caregivers. It's overwhelming to think about how some kids live and are (not) cared for. I know we live in an evil world and it's to be expected when so many are lost, but it breaks my heart how so many children have to live.

I also struggle at times with how overwhelming it might be in the future and do I really know what we're getting into? It would definitely be more comfortable to keep things the way they are. I'm trusting the Lord to direct our paths in this new season of our lives.

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

our road to fostering

We're back on track on our process to become foster parents! We began the application process back in April but got off track when I broke my ankle, but things are moving along now. All that we're lacking on our part is our CPR/First Aid training (will do next week) and then a few days of training and a home study from the case manager.

We are so ready - we feel like we've been preparing for this for years- Jeff's Grandma lived with us for almost 9 years and I can now appreciate the lessons the Lord taught me through that season of our lives. We've learned the importance of hospitality, serving others and most importantly, of being obedient to this command:

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27

Our home has usually been the house that the neighborhood kids hang out in and the parents trust them to be in - we even moved about a year ago and we have a previous neighbor (teenage boy) who rides his bike 2 miles just to hang out and play video games. Our children have learned patience, putting others before yourself, and the importance of being kind to others.

As we get closer to this reality, we are getting exited about what God has in store for our family. We know it won't be easy - but we're ready!

Stepping Out of the Boat

With the prospect of Jeff maybe not going to medical school, we've been praying about "what to do next". Sure, we could be content with the way things are/have been, with my working full-time for a wonderful ministry while Jeff teaches and goes to school, but it seems like we can do so much more. We have some dear friends who have recently moved into a community to become foster parents and from the start this is something I KNEW I needed to be a part of - somehow. We were in the process of applying to be approved respite care workers for a few of the families out there when the conviction was overwhelming that we needed to become foster parents as well. I don't think I've ever had my heart broken as much as it has just thinking about these children without a family.

Please keep us in your prayers as we go through the process to see if this is a good fit for our family. There are a few details that God will work out if this is His will.

"I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these....you were doing it to me." Matt 25:40