drained

Yesterday we had to do one of the hardest things we've ever had to do - admit a child to a psychiatric hospital. We knew he had problems to start with, why else would he be in foster care, right?

It's hard to understand how a child who can be so happy and obedient one moment can lose total control of his ability to reason the next. I can't stop wondering what we could/should have done differently, but the bottom line is some children, in and out of foster care are emotionally and mentally disturbed. We really had no choice when our family's safety (and his) was threatened.

I have alot of things going through my mind, but mostly (1) It was presumptuous of us to believe we could help him in such a short period of time and (2) what hope is there for people like this? During the admission process, there was an older gentleman admitting his 29 year old son as well. He commented that his son was about the same age as our foster son when he was first admitted.

I'm emotionally drained right now and feel defeated. I'm sad for what we had to do and for any scars we added to his heart.

In Memory of Grandma Helen

Helen Augusta Gunn was my husband, Jeff's maternal Grandmother. She passed away this past Sunday, February 1st, 2009. She just turned 95 years old in October.

Grandma Helen came to live with us in 1998 (about 11 years ago) after she fell and shattered her ankle and was unable to live on her own. Until that time, Jeff's sister, Helen, and his mom, Karen, who lived nearby in California helped her by checking in on her, taking her shopping, etc... Since she needed so much assistance we decided to move her in with us so we could take care of her, and since we only had two kids at the time and a 4 bedroom home, it was something we needed to do.

Having Grandma live with us was such a good experience for our family. It taught us patience, respect and the kids learned to put other people before themselves. Grandma didn't have much, but she was content with her life. Jeff has many fond memories of her growing up because she was always there, sometimes living with them, but always nearby.

Grandma was able to watch our children grow up - Andrew was born about a year after she moved in with us and in her early stages of dementia, she thought he was her baby. Those were such sweet moments because he deveopled a close bond with her as well. The kids loved to hang out in her room with her to snuggle or just watch cartoons and they could always count on her sneaking them a cookie or two.

We'll miss Grandma Helen and cherish our sweet memories of her!